Time To Be Selfish!

Note:  There has been and there will be no rain here in Houston for quite some time.  It’s beyond dry and without the rain, it’s impossible to cool off wherever you go.  Despite this, two highschool friends and I set out on an hour-long walk mid-morning.  Strike one.  I walked an hour in flip-flops.  Strike two.  I’m paying for it now, thanks to the huge blister between my toes!

I’m sure everyone is feeling the heat.  What is up with the crazy weather everywhere this year??

We still managed to have good conversation and a fun time with the neighborhood horses while wiping sweat off our faces every three seconds.


You know those days where you can’t decide what to eat?  Today was one of those days.  As I walked back and forth between the pantry and the fridge trying to come up with something good, I snacked on handfuls and handfuls of cereal, because cerealiously I can’t get enough.  I finally settled with ham (ew), a laughing cow swiss cheese, dijon mustard, and arugula on toasted wheat bread.  I cooked microwaved some brussel sprouts in a bag for some extra greens and sprinkled them with lemon pepper.  Why do people look at me like I’m a freak every time I eat brussel sprouts?  Even Wally wouldn’t come near me.


Work was so great today.  It flew by surprisingly, and I had a Peanut Butter Cookie Larabar and the same dinner as Monday (shocking, I know) to power me through.  Although tonight I added a frozen tilapia filet.  And by frozen I mean uncooked.  It was definite unintended sushi, and it was disgusting.  I felt like I was eating rubber, so the fish was a flop.  Thankfully the black beans and avocado filled me up fast and replaced the nasty, raw fishy taste in my mouth.

I work with all guys-guys who are very, and I mean very, interested in girls.  In fact, every girl that walks in the store turns their heads and causes their mouths to fall to the ground.  So I get to hear them talk, judge, rate…whatever guys do.  The coolest thing I noticed tonight was that they think all of these girls are beautiful.  Literally.  Big, small, short, tall, geeky, hot, muscular, flabby…whatever the girl appears to be on the outside, they still treat her and talk about her like she’s the most beautiful thing in the world.

I think this is where girls mess up.  For me personally, my trip down Disordered Eating Lane partially stemmed from a huge fear that I would never find a guy who could love me unless I had the “perfect” body.  I feared that guys wouldn’t even look at me if I had that extra pound or flabby thigh.  But every guy doesn’t go for the skinny, tall, tan, blonde girl.  Just like we as girls don’t go for the tall, brunette, tan, ripped guy.  As much as that wouldn’t suck, that said guy isn’t the only guy we would find attractive or husband-worthy.

Tonight made me take another look at what I invest my time in and the reasons why I do what I do.  Why do I exercise and why do I eat healthy?  I sincerely hope that it’s not because I want to achieve “that body” for a guy, because honestly I don’t want to be with a guy who is only with me because he likes my body.  That’s ridiculous, and I really needed those guys tonight to remind me of that.  When people look at you, they see more than just physical appearance.  Even when they do notice physical appearance, they don’t pick apart every aspect of your body and critique it.  Guys obviously aren’t that intuitive and (the good ones) aren’t going to ignore you if you’re not under 120 pounds.

Living out a healthy lifestyle needs to be a selfish thing.  Selfishness is definitely not something I promote or believe in, but I don’t want the goal of my eating and my working out to be to please a potential man.  It has to be for me and for God-nobody else.  As I look at it from that perspective once again (I know, I have to be reminded every other day) it makes a healthy lifestyle soooo much more do-able and sooooo much more fun!

So, here’s to selfishness and focusing more on who I am and not what I look like.  

Have a good night! 🙂


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