“When I was a kid…” I swear my dad uses this phrase atleast 8 times a day. Even I find myself using it around my brother and sister and I’m only 20. In all honesty, I often think back over the past 8 or so years since I graduated from being a kid into the tumultuous teenage years, and wish I had known then what I know now about life.
And then I found this book laying on my momma’s night stand, fancy that. And I’m already half-obsessed with Letters To My Younger Self. It’s only more proof that I’m a 70-year old stuck in a 20-year old’s body.
“God sometimes removes a person from your life for protection. Don’t run after them.” -Rick Warren
This has been the second biggest struggle apart from an ED over the past two years. Watching most of my “best friends forever” walk out of my life by choice has been nothing short of hard. There are certain people who I was convinced I needed in my life because we had fun together and I trusted them, and was always questioning God: WHY DO YOU TAKE THESE PEOPLE AWAY FROM ME. Never being close with my family, I relied on my closest friends. I chased and chased and chased and chased and chased and felt like a desperate little school girl with a crush to no avail. Now, it’s easier (not easy though) to let go and trust God that he has my best interests in mind-even when it comes to people. I wish I had known that people come and go, and it’s all part of God’s hugggeeee plan-not part of my control.
“Some parts of life have to be messy before they can become beautiful.” Natasha Bedingfield
It goes without saying that this describes the past year of hell. My life was a mess-no friends, depression, no healthy relationship with food, loneliness, constant mind games, no love or laughter. I would never believe that good could come from all of that; that I would see beauty again. Guess what though! I do! (Almost) every day I notice little things that bring so much light to my life. I laugh again, which is a verb I forgot the meaning of for a while. I feel love for my friends and family again, and I feel things emotionally. I’m no longer a brick wall with no heart. God has been working out some beautiful things in my life recently and I. Am. Loving. It. I wish I had known that a messy life wasn’t the end-all. There’s more to the story than that.
“The only thing keeping you from you want most is yourself. There is more to life than wanting to be accepted and having it all figured out.”-Kristin Brown
Shy and insecure are two words I tacked onto my name for a long time. Alot of things have flown out of my peripheral because I was too scared to take a chance and didn’t believe that I was good enough YET to accomplish them. For example, running in college. I know I’ve touched on my fears before, but I was too scared that I wasn’t fast enough. I told myself that one day I’d have everything together and then be able to aim for making the team. What else have I kept myself from? Oh just about everything! Fun, food, friends, travel, experience, college, adventure. After blaming others for my problems, I wish I had known that I was the roadblock in my own life.
It really should be a law. Don’t forget to laugh today!
What’s one thing you wish you had known back in the day?