What you are is what you think

“A man is what he thinks about all day long.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Quotes that make you rethink your life are the shizzznettttttt.  Sometimes I’ll Google quotes and just sit and read.  People are so wise!

I’ve been putting off a post about why I don’t want to be back at my school this semester, but I don’t want to dwell on it and make everything worse.  In a nutshell:

  • my ED days began here.  I haven’t lived a day here without those rampant thoughts racing through my mind.  Restricting me from eating, from going out with friends, and from living.  Being around so many people the same age draws me into the comparison trap like no other, making these thoughts worse and worse and worse and worse…
  • I lost most of my friends over the course of last year because of that.  I isolated myself, and I’m paying the steep price right now.  Making new friends ain’t the easiest thing for this girl, but I’m hoping that everything falls into place this semester.
  • discomfort.  Have you ever been to a place where you just don’t feel comfortable or you don’t fit in?  I just happened to make that place my school.  Last year it was a daily struggle to get my butt out the door and go to class and live in this city.
  • being away from my family.  I’m a family girl, nough said.

In the past, all I could think of was how much I hated it here.  Because that’s *what I thought about all day long* I was miserable and lonely.  Yesterday I could have sat around and thought about how much I hated it and how I didn’t want to be back.  Instead, I tried to get excited about a fresh start and the positives about being back.  And what a difference it makes!

[I completed one of my August goals – going out of my comfort zone.  A year away from going out made me miss it and I’m so glad I decided to skip my early bedtime in my comfort zone and go out with my roomie.  This even included having [another] bowl of cereal late at night and not eating “on schedule”.  Vick.tor.ee.]

My point is, spending all day thinking that I’m fat is going to make me feel fat, lose confidence, and hate life.  Spending all day thinking about how I hate it here will bring me back to that place of misery and loneliness.  Spending all day fretting about working out will make me a crazy woman and no fun to be around.  If I think about love, friends, progress, family, God all day, then that’s who I’m going to be.  That’s what my life will be about.  That’s what it should be about.

I didn’t make it to the grocery store yesterday, so I’m living on slim pickens.  Here are picchas of my (unfinished) room:

Balcony - FAVORITE thing ever! Hello blogging and coffee while watching the sunrise

I mean, if there aren’t any other positives, atleast I’m living in a house…a place where I can call home!

———-

The only foodie pic I’ve gotten so far – due to my friends’ lack of knowledge about my blog – was the most perfect breakfast besides a cookie dough oatmeal smoothie.

Protein pancakes a la Gina!  I subbed a flax egg for a real egg, and 2 Tbsp quick oats for flour and they turned out surprisingly huge well.

I’m heading back home for the night for a funeral, my brother’s first cross country meet, and a baking class.  Thankfully I don’t have to conquer my fear of the rec center yet.  Have a SUPERFANTASTIC Friday and a beautiful, restful weekend!

Do you have a quote that you live by?
What are you looking forward to over the next few months?

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18 Comments

Filed under Blogging, College, Daily Eats, ED thoughs, Life

18 responses to “What you are is what you think

  1. Ah so proud of you for going out of your comfort zone 🙂 A fresh start is always nice!
    I always tell myself “one day at a time” I tend to focus on the big picture and not just the day. I’m looking forward to moving on with my life and finding something to study that I’m interested in 🙂

  2. That’s a really awesome quote 😀 Our attitudes and thoughts definitely dictate how ours lives play out, and I think it’s awesome that you’re doing your best to focus on the positives, because really… there are SO many things that we should be thankful for in our lives. I’m doing my best to focus on what I have instead of what I think I don’t have as well, and I’m becoming a lot happier as a result 🙂 I’m also really looking forward to moving into my own place in 3 weeks. Eeeep! Can’t wait 😀

  3. Dang your place is killer, love it! Sorry you didn’t get to go to the grocery though, that’s a bummer, but I’m sure excited to see the load when you go 😀
    I think it’s awesome you’re working through your struggles and facing them head on. It sounds like your college has some past friendship with your ED, but I admire you for busting up that friendship and starting a new year off right. Like you, I’m excited to start this year off with a bang–bye bye comfort zone, hello fun real world! 😀
    PS–I totally know the ninja-like foodie pics that occur when friends who don’t know about the blog are around, I feel like such a spy mwahaha 😉

  4. I’m so proud of you!! You got out of your comfort zone and trying to make the most of the situation 😀
    Your place is awesome! I love that desk you have.
    a quote I live by (thank you Jillian Michaels) is “get comfortable with being uncomfortable”. There are going to be situations that I’m not prepared for or that I’m not going to like, but I just have to deal with it.
    What I’m looking forward to over the next few months is actually learning something in my classes! HS was a breeze for me, and didn’t learn a darn thing. I’m ready to do some learning since I’m a total nerd 😉

    • YES I love that quote too! I just wish it wasn’t true 🙂
      You’re not the only nerd here, college has been such a blessing because highschool was wayyy too easy for me as well. You’re going to love it!

  5. Ohhh! Love that quote!!!! And just remember that we have the power to change the way we think. And God’s spirit to help us. 🙂

    I will be sure to say a prayer for you about getting started back. I have faith you will adjust well though! You’re strong! 🙂

  6. I am quite proud of you for going out of your comfort zone. Trust me, I know how uncomfortable it is and terrifying as well… but you are strong and just continue to remember that! And also that taking a chance quite often leads to rather positive results 🙂
    Your place is awesome too… so cute!

  7. Rachel

    going back to the school where ED thrived is hard. i’m transferring mainly due to that reason, also because i can be in an academically similar program closer to home, with more safety nets…aka better treatment options. it sucks, but health has to come first you know? i try to live by Matthew 6:34 “do not worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow has enough worries of its own.” another one that comes to mind that i think is applicable to a lot of what you said in this post (and one that i really relate to my own life) is “it has taken me time to realize that the true measure of success is the extent to which we embrace life. the extent to which we use our lives, not forfeit them.” attitude is everything, and God will get you through anything. there are so many great scriptures about not being afraid, i can’t even think of one to say here, but just know you are strong and with a different mindset, things can and will be different, even if you’re in the same physical place!

  8. jenandberries

    Ahhh you are doing so so brilliantly at settling in, it is awesome. I find what helps is trying not to ‘think’ about decisions too much ( i know that sounds weird!) but saying ‘stuff it’ to your comfort zone shoves it back and you can go out and have a good time, and you deserve it! Your room looks lovely and decent sized too. Next few months – to going out and doing autumny things…and turning 21 =)

  9. Stay Strong! Well done for getting out of your comfort zone. Your taking it one step at a time & with a positive attitude 🙂
    Wishing you all the best for school this year!

  10. Amy Lauren

    Hey, I found your blog on another blog I read (and I forget who’s, but I see we both read Tina’s so yeah), I’m gonna read along if that’s cool.

    Your room is super cute, despite being unfinished, and you’re brave to go back to school with all of that going on. I can totally understand how you feel with the isolated feelings of ED, and it’s gotta be super tough during college. Although it didn’t consume my life during college and I had great college years, looking back I really regret not spending more time with people and building more relationships. I had a lot of acquaintances but 4 years post college, I have maybe 2 college friends I can still call on for stuff. I did meet my husband there, though :).

    I would say joining some organizations or clubs or something to make friends? It would also give you a nice outlet and it would help you with your goals of going out of your comfort zone. I was in student government and wrote for the student newspaper, they really did a lot for me coming out of my shell, just a suggestion though, I’m sure there’s something you could get involved with that would fit your talents :).

    A.L.

  11. Yayaya!! I love this!! I am so happy you went out and threw your schedule off. PERFECT! This room is so cute, love the HP poster. Have a blast with this new adventure and take life on by the horns!

  12. Ooh i’m liking your place!! I like how you’re handling the negative thoughts though. The power of positive thinking is amazing! You are in control of how you handle the situation, and you can make it a good experience by spinning things in the right direction. You seem to be doing really well right now and that is awesome! I don’t have a quote that I live by, but now that i think about it I kind of want one! I’ll have to be on the lookout for one…

  13. I am very guilty of sticking in my comfort zone but you really inspire me to get out there. way to go girl!!!

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