Joy & Healing

Good morning friends!  How was the start to the weekend last night?!  Hope you were able to take some time off from school/work to relax and refresh.  I spent my night going to ring dunks and midnight yell [don’t ask] and am ready to get in some shopping today for my cardio 😉 as a reward for pwning my interviews yesterday.  I’m SO glad yall are all on the carb-overdose-before-bed train with me…and like some of you said, it does make me sleep harder and longer.  Win for everyone.

Speaking of carbs, breakfast was a simple bowl of cereal-Kashi Crunch, Multigrain Cheerios, cinnamon, flaxseed with coconut milk, with a side of strawberries [out of the container, no less]

So this topic doesn’t directly have to do with health and fitness, but I want to hear your thoughts!  It’s been on my heart all week, but I’ve been putting it off because of school and pure laziness.

Both my ED days and being in college has made me extremely selfish, as I’m sure many of you can relate.  It’s all about when I want to eat, when I want to go to bed/wake up, when I need to study, when I need to do this and do that.  If what I’m doing fits into your schedule, then great, we can hang out.  But if not then sucks to suck.  [It even bothers me how much I say “I” on the blog]

“When we live self-centered lives, we are denied the joy of delighting in others.”

As of right now, I would say that I’m 95% healed from an ED.  I thought it would be a walk in the park if I could just get over that hill, but what followed was severe depression and anxiety.  Which is still self-centered, focusing on my problems, my sadness, my lack of hope.

“Nobody should seek his own god, but the good of others.” – 1 Corinthians 10:24

Coming back to school, I was still at the bottom of all bottoms, and was ready to take on counseling and medicine so I could get back to ‘normal’ (whatever that is) and move forward.  I’m open about my faith on my blog because I know that God is the only reason I’m alive and thriving and healthy today.  I couldn’t have healed myself through my own power.  Yet things aren’t always bright and dandy in the faith area either.  It’s been a struggle to go to church on a weekly basis and to try to get involved in something Christian-oriented on campus because well, I just haven’t been feelin it.

But this is why God is so so cool. Every morning when I hesitantly open my bible, every sermon I’ve heard, comments from friends have all been directing me towards the same thing – focus on others. Not as a distraction from my own ‘problems’ but because there is serious joy to be found in being a shoulder for someone and praying over someone who needs it more than I do.

My focus is always down at myself, but when I lift my eyes and look at the people walking by me on campus, my roommates, strangers at the gym, I can see the hurt in their lives as well.  I can’t fix whatever they’re going through…I know that God can though.  Simply praying for other peoples’ hearts instead of my own has brought enough joy in and of itself.  It’s incredible how doing things for other people-even if it’s just asking how their day was or an unnoticed prayer-can make all the difference.

Every organization I’ve joined in college has been to further my social life and my resume.  So I dropped everything I was involved in the past two years and joined Global Justice-which is a small group of students who sincerely want to bring attention to social injustices around the world.  Talk about taking the focus off of myself.  I get so caught up in my little bubble of nothingness that I forget to notice hardships people face all over the world.  Taking the focus off of yourself brings healing, in whatever way you need to be healed.

If you need a little inspiration, I suggest you go here and read about the war going on in the Congo and the desire to bring kid soldiers out of that environment and into love, education, and healing.  It’s not about comparing problems with another person, it’s about feeling someone else’s hurt and realizing whatever you’re going through isn’t the end of the world. There is  joy to be found through being there for someone else.

[I’ll definitely be talking alot about Falling Whistles in the weeks to come.  I had never heard of it before last week, yet it’s been on my heart x294948 so be readdddaaayyyy.]

“But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?” -1 John 3:17


Sorry for such a wordy and confusing post!  Enjoy your Saturday (especially if football is involved) and say a little prayer for a stranger today.  Be on the lookout for the joy that comes with that 😀

What organization or non-profit really tugs at your heart? For me, anything that supports oppressed kids makes me want to go adopt them all. 
What are your weekend plans?
Shopping, lots of studying, bonding with the roomie
Does shopping count as cardio?  
Yes it is.  Don’t tell me it isn’t.  



Filed under College, Daily Eats, ED thoughs, Life

16 responses to “Joy & Healing

  1. wow, this post really hit home. Girl you are amazing!! Thanks for the reminder; I am for sure going to stop being so selfish myself…everyone out there needs a little love! 🙂

  2. You are awesome, it is completely “normal” and OK to have moments of ME ME ME time when you are going through school and stress. For you to be able to take a step back and put focus onto others is amazing. SHOPPING IS DEF cardio and THAT is exactly what I am doing today!! I contemplated going for a run, but said NOPE I’m going shopping today so that will count! HA!

  3. jenandberries

    I think it’s awesome that you joined Global Justice :). I’ve been thinking about joining a similar society in uni too. Being selfish is something lots of people are guilty of I think. You are in an amazing place right now, sounds like God is just guiding you so well away from the eating disorder for good. Not a confusing post, I can relate to it so much, especially about joining societies to enhance my own social life. And shopping is DEFINITELY cardio. Just prolonged, indulgent cardio hehe!

  4. This post is amazing! It truly made me think about the power we have as Christians…and it made me wanna go help/adopt a billion kids too haha 😉 You rock my friend!
    BTW shopping is TOTALLY cardio (the funnest form if you ask me haha) Have fun!!

  5. This post is wonderful! I have the chance to see hurt in others everyday I go into the hospital. Lately I’ve been working with kids who have serious medical conditions (ie may not make it to 20 years old) and their parents usually have low income. It’s been so eye opening to me. These kids are all so ill yet so happy. But I really feel for the parents who have to struggle with all these bills and a child who is sick. to know I’m helping their child survive another day is quite the blessing. It definitely makes me forget about me me me some days 🙂
    And yes shopping is def cardio!

    • What an awesome (and hard) job! Just reading that makes my heart sink a bit because I’m so undeserving of all the blessings I have in my life. Good for you that you get to see that and be a light in their lives everyday!

  6. I absolutely love this post! Everything you said was so inspiring, I completely agree with all your points. It’s so great you joined global justice 🙂

  7. wow, we rarely think about it, but its true – everyone’s a little bit selfish! I think that you can’t do much for other people without first taking care of your own health and well-being, but we all need to get take a step out of our own little bubble worlds sometimes!

    I can’t wait to hear more about global justice! 🙂 .

  8. Isabelle@cheesymiteapples

    I’m with you on that! All organizations that help children specifically orphans pulls at my heart strings. I volunteered for a month in Ghana at an orphanage and it was this that made me change my whole outlook on life and change college course 🙂

  9. awesome post girl, thanks for sharing your feelings on all this. I totally agree with you about the organizations. ANYTHING with kids steals my heart. I mean really. When Im asked if I want to donate to a foundation at the grocery store and it is for kids I ALWAYS donate, regardless of how much money it is lol Kids are the future, and we both know how important the children are to Jesus 🙂

  10. I have NOOO idea how I missed this post… but I am so glad I realized I did! It is wonderful girl 🙂
    Thank you for being open and sharing your feelings on this. I definitively agree that everyone is a bit selfish, I know I am some of the time!

  11. Rachel

    this is such a wonderful organization to be involved with! i think people with EDs tend to feel selfish, especially in recovery… but more often than not it’s more ED telling them that than anything else. pile on the “christian guilt” factor and it’s very different, but at the end of the day and eating disorder is a disease, and it’s not exactly like you wished it upon yourself. it’s not like you could just get better. feeling selfish for your eating disorder would be like feeling selfish for having cancer- it doesn’t make sense really. i totally understand how you feel about it though, and it’s hard. i loooved all the verses you used in this post! so encouraging 🙂 this weekend i plan to attend my first EVER college football game (since vandy ones weren’t worth attending), NOT go to work, go to church, and spend some time with my family…as well as study 😦

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